My experiences are such that I thought that I was mental. I thought I was schizophrenic, but now, after reading other victims accounts, I am convinced my pain is real. I will start with when It started and why.I have a real involvment and knowledge concerning some of the hijackers on 9-11. In fact, I, at one time, maintained a close personal relationship with one of the hijackers, although I did not ever, ever know he was a terrorist, nor did I know he would perpetrate such a horrendous attack such as America recieved on 9-11.
I had not seen this man since 1994, nor any of his friends, (some of the other hijackers, including his brother).
Unknowingly, I was allowed into Al- Queda, and I was shown an intense amount of information, although I did not know the meaning of or signifigance of until after 9-11 when the hijackers photos were released.
I stand alone. There are no others out there like me, an American being allowed into Al-Queda, without knowing they were terrorists, and therefore being allowed to learn hundreds of valuable bits of information, is unheard of.
In Al-Queda, the only way you are allowed to know target information, member information, meeting places, etc. is if you are a loyal, tested, member of the organization. I on the other hand, was not a member, I am an all american person from an all american town.
I was brought into the organization, not knowing it was an organization, not knowing it was anything except a bunch of arab guys going to college, acting a little strange, but I figured it was culture.
Getting to the point, I held all this information inside me, not knowing I even had such information, until, like I said, I saw the photos of the hijackers.
I had dealings with the FBI for almost a year, and during that time, I experienced the most awful sensations, hallucanations, suicidal feelings, horrible horrible experiences that I have read on the victims pages, but worse.
They continue to this day, watch me, listen to me, follow me, and control me. I thought this was all just in my head, I thought that they implanted something in my head, on the left side, close to the ear, but everyone said I was crazy. They told me the government doesn't do that.
Bull, what I experienced was a drugging, where I fell asleep almost at the wheel of my vehicle, which led me to pull over on an exit ramp, where immediately I fell asleep, waking up hours later, my car still running, and a feeling of being drugged came over me. I looked out my window, and saw I was surrounded by other vehicles, which the occupants were watching me, and promptly upon my awakening, they packed up and drove away.
I thought I was nuts, but upon turning my head to the left, I experienced a buzzing noise, like a power line, but low level, in my ear, which continues to this very day. I realized that the exit I went off of was the very same exit that leads you to a nuclear power plant, a nuclear plant that the GOV. wanted to know if the terrorists were interested in, that was visible from my position on the side of the road. I knew right then and there, I was not alone, I was being controlled, and I freaked out.
I told them to forget it, I refused to help them any further, yet somehow, I was led right into the lions den each and every time they wanted me to go and tell about my memories.
My account is too large and detailed to continue writing, but regardless of whether they implanted something inside me, which they did, I am sure, without a doubt, they have controlled my mind. Without a doubt, they have hypnotized me, used "bio-feedback" and the "stock-holm syndrome" as ways to keep me in line. The GOV. did not want my story told to anyone, and they did their very best, with all recources available, in order to keep me quiet.
I lost everything, my home, my job, my family's respect, my sanity, my peace of mind. I no longer feel as though I am my own person, but rather a puppet, being led along into a puppeteers dream.
My knowledge about various targets and member information is what led them to go all out, probobly more so than any of the other victims describe. Imagine, The U.S. government sitting back and waiting for me to "get better" so I could tell them the information they so desperately wanted. Yeah right.
They stole my life, ripped me to shreds, then built me slowly back up, according to their ways, thereby giving them the results they so desperately wanted from me. To know the targets, the methods, and the means. I knew too much, and they twisted and turned my mind to suit their needs, and to this day they torture my mind daily.
I have experienced a complete transformation of my personality, I do not enjoy the things I used to enjoy, my interest lies elsewhere. I am constantly guided to areas of their interest, things they want to know about, and I continue to seek the memories that lie deep within my brain.
I want to end all the suffering, I want to forget I loved a terrorist, but I am never allowed to forget, I am never alone, and I am never given the peace I so righteously deserve.
By my allowing their mind control to occur, I knew without a doubt something along the line of mind control was happening, I revealed the plot(s) to future terrorist attacks, the perpetrators, and the guilty parties and financiers of the Al-Queda movement.
Now, I have turned to my God, Jehovah, and his son Jesus Christ to help me in my endeavor to release my soul from suffering from my own Government, from the men I helped show the world of Al-Queda to and their operations, within the borders of this great country.
Please do not try to email me, do not try to find out who I am, I am a nobody, just a typical American, who was lied to, and thrown into a "prison of the mind" for my knowledge.
Undoubtledly, my information has saved lives, but never the less, my life is in shambles, and my soul is left to wither in the dry heat. I want release, but it never comes.
The torture is so great at times, Tics, pains, sudden illnesses, anger outbursts, sleepless nights, sleepy days,buzzing in my ear, memories in my head that feel like they are being brought out and guided by heavy fingers, outright communications from Gov. officials that they are there, right there with me, every step of the way. Waiting watching knowing that their sick game is working, is giving them the neccesary info. that busts terrorists to their knees.
Although a good thing, (catching terrorists) my life, as little and meaningless as it was, has been reduced to rubble. I experience things that do not occur, nor have ever occured in my entire life, things that should not happen,. I have felt like taking my life to end it all, but soon thereafter, I realized it was not me experiencing these sensations, but another human controlling these emotions.
How they do it, I do not know. Why they do it-I do know. Why they think they had to destroy my life, take everything from me, and feel good about it is beyond me.
I find that my personal belongings, vehicle, are constantly searched. (missing items, items out of place, items left in a form not placed by me, my vehicle looks like it has been messed with, wires and things changed, my batteries in everything I use die quickly.
I experienced massive amounts of static electricity, with sounds like a power line overhead, whenever I exited my vehicle, (during my interrogation proceedings and cycles with the Bureau) I always felt like It was not just the FBI, but the CIA, NSA, NSC, NISC, etc.
Indications in messages appearing on roadways,on television, in my reading material, in my own literature and writings. I notice when I type, my hands betray me and type out another word.
I fall asleep when I don't want to and stay awake when I don't want to. I ramble, get stressed out, and quickly, I am transformed into a zombie, whenever I try to speak out.
Want to know why you have never heard of anyone like me in the news? Because I am censored, my phone used to be programmed to connect to numbers I did not dial. Sounds coming through the phone, my phone ringing, whereas I pick it up, and the sound of a fax is being broadcast through the reciever. I no longer think that I am crazy, I know now that my experiences are not so unique concerning mind control by our GOV. I experienced messages from personalized liscense plates, specifically pertaining to my situation, conincidences too numerous to appear normal.
Questions answered through one or two word phrases on license plates, through the colors of the vehicles, groups and groups of the same colors surround my every move. One day it's white, another day could be purple, another, pink and rose colors, another day is green, or nuetral, another is black. They call me names, make fun of me, make comments about my personal lifestyle,etc. All for the sake of "National Security."
I have no avenues or resources to help me with counseling, they are constantly denied to me, so therefore, I am going to tell my story, I will tell it all, and there will be no stopping it. The U.S. Government has gone too far this time, they should be made to understand that such methods are dangerously immoral and outright sins commited by their agencies, against humanity and God.
I say "RISE UP AMERICA, SEE THE TRUTH, KNOW WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED in the face of terror and know we are not alone. Big Brother watches 24/7, all of us, and everyone in some way or another, will experience mind control by the Government, to some degree, at some point in their lives.
Unfortunaltly, my degree was such that It has changed me forever. I am disgusted, frozen in chaos, frustrated, with no where to turn but Jehovah God. TURN to GOD if you are a victim, he will refresh your soul and take away the pain. It works. I have experienced it with my own feelings and thoughts the powerful and awsome works that God can perform for you, if you call upon him. This is the only thing that helps me function daily.
Thank you for the chance to vent,.
8-8-2003 Received